Article – Dr. Brian Monger
Better Ways of Handling People to Achieve Things
Here are some ideas
Hard Edge Criticism is futile We are not dealing with creatures of logic. People are primarily emotional
There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. That is by making that person want to do it.
Recognise the desire for others to feel important.
The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Become genuinely interested in others (people).
Remember that a person’s name is important to them – but do not assume familiarity by using their first name without approval
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
You cannot win an argument long term if the other people gain nothing. Negotiate so everyone gets something positive
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Rarely say, “You’re wrong.”
If you are wrong, admit it – quickly and straight forwardly – don’t seek to wriggle out
Begin everything in a friendly way. Try to continue that way
Listen – Let the other person do most of the talking.
To get folk to agree with your ideas, let the other person feel that the idea is (also) his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Dont paint yourself into a corner by using words like, “you should … have to … must … ” and other words that take away choice and opportunity for discussion and negotiation. Instead use words like, “consider … try … would it not be better if? … ” and other words that leave open the possibility for dialogue. This is a more effective and less threatening way to encourage another to rethink his/her position. (Thanks to Ed Coumou)
If You Must Find Fault, This is the Way to Begin
1 – Begin with the positives – praise and honest appreciation.
2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
4 – Where possible Lead with understnading – Ask questions instead of giving direct blunt orders. Most folk don’t like to take orders
5 – Let the other person save face
6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7 – Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8 – Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Any additional suggestions welcome. Let me know